The Beautiful Life
by Cutthroat Pixie
Summary: Various pairings/characters. A collection of drabbles and short stories that don't fit in my other collections.
1. Bros 4 Lyfe

Pairing/Characters: America and Romano  
Rating: K+  
Note: I think most of my not-Spamano things are Romanoful. But oh well Romano is beautiful.

* * *

Romano isn't quite sure what happened, but one minute he was begrudgingly going to the Olive Garden with America after a world meeting and the next he's stumbling through some random street, completely hammered and following after the same asshole who had drug him out to that shit restaurant in the first place.

"You're staying in the same room as Spain, right?" America grabs his arm just in time to pull him back up off the street and onto the sidewalk.

Romano is too drunk and too tired and too done with almost falling off things to even argue. "Yeah. I guess so."

"Well I only figured because you said so earlier."

"I did not."

"You did."

"Fuck you."

"I'll pass the message along to Spain." America pauses and grins over to their left. "To Antonio."

"Fuck to. Antonio. Fuck people."

"It's okay bro. I'll get you there soon."

"You won't." Romano leans against America's shoulder. Because he's too damn tired for this shit. "We're going in the wrong direction."

"…I'm taking a short cut."

They go around the block, then back up the way they'd already come, but Romano sees the street sign through his drunken, blurry vision and knows they're heading in the right direction. Finally.


	2. Flame

Pairing/Characters: America, Romano, Spain  
Rating: K+  
Note: Or Romano and America being dorkbros pft

* * *

"*hic* Romano?"

"…What, America? Do you know what time it is?"

"Yeah! Time for freedom!"

Romano glanced over at the clock on Spain's bedside table. 6:01 am. "It's midnight for you?"

"On the fourth!"

"Are you drunk."

"Heroes don't get drunk."

"Can you even do that? Your drinking age there is balls."

"I'm not drunk! Just filled with the flames of freedom!"

"Right."

"So what're you up to?"

Somewhere to his left Spain was in the process of stealing the last corner of blankets while simultaneously drapping his legs all over Romano. That was what Romano was up to. "I'm sleeping, you jackass. Go call somebody else. Or go to sleep."

"If you're sleeping, how'd you answer the phone?"

Romano groaned and pulled the phone away from his ear, shouting, "I'm hanging up!" and ignoring the quickly (and loudly) uttered, "What? No! Happy Freedom Day!" that came through the line before he pressed the end call button.


	3. Haze

Pairing/Characters: America, Romano  
Rating: K+  
Note: I swear there were other stories I wanted to put in here

* * *

America was confused. Terribly, horribly confused. He'd seen the commercials on TV depicting all the happy, smiling people sitting around their plates of delicious, _authentic_Italian food. To his left, a group of teenage girls sat around a table chatting as they munched on their breadsticks, to his right sat a teenage girl giggling across the table from her perhaps overly dressed boyfriend.

"These breadsticks are shit."

Everyone was having a good time. A good, _authentic Italian time_.

"Are you gonna eat the last one, they keep giving us an odd number. Where the hell did that waiter go?"

Everyone but Romano, apparently.

"Did they use canned tomatoes in this bruschetta? Even Spain can do better."

"They're not canned! The Olive Garden is proud to serve fresh, delicious Italian food in a comfortable, home-like setting, Romano."

Romano raised an eyebrow at him as he dipped a piece of bread in the "disgusting" bruschetta. "Are you reciting a commercial at me."

"It's true!"

"Yeah whatever. Where'd that asshole waiter go? This wine is not from Italy, he's a dirty liar."

"No no, all three glasses were definitely from Italy. It's a genuine Italian dining experience!"

More eyebrow raising and a snort of laughter. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"_When you're here you're family, Romano._"

Their waiter finally returned, another basket of breadsticks in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. Romano quickly snatched up one of the hot, garlicy pieces of bread while the waiter poured him more wine. "Whatever you say, bro."


	4. No Homo

Pairing/Characters: America, Romano, side of Fem!Spain/Romano and America/Fem!France  
Rating: K+  
Note: This could go in the Spamano one but I'm on a roll apparently

* * *

"Dude I'm freaking out."

Lovino looks at the clock. 2:00 am. He then looks at this phone, half-convinced he's dreaming and delusional and assholes named Alfred are not calling him at _two in the fucking morning_. Such tragedies of life are indeed true, it seems, as the glaring blue light of his phone lets him know that he is in fact speaking to Alfred.

"Did you accidentally eat one of Willem's brownies again. I told you to stop taking food from him, fatass."

"No!" Alfred says with a laugh. "You know I won't fall for his dastardly tricks a second time!"

"Fourth."

"…That's not why."

"You dying?"

"As if!"

"Then stop calling me." Antonia rolls over next to him, grumbling something and inching away from the source of the noise interrupting her sleep. Lovino is torn between lowering his voice so as to not wake her and speaking louder to make her join in his sleepless misery.

He ends up not having to make the choice, because Alfred suddenly shouts, "I'm at Francine's!" Antonia jolts awake while Lovino tries to rip the phone away from his ear to avoid being deafened.

"What's going on?" Antonia whines and bats at the phone in Lovino's hands.

He shoves her away and hesitantly puts the phone back to his ear. "Is that really something to be calling me about?"

"I'm in her bathroom."

"Uh huh."

"And she's in the bedroom."

"And me and Antonia are in our room. Now that we all know where we are, let's all go the hell to sleep."

"Dude I can't sleep in her bathroom. I'm pretty sure she's expecting me to go sleep with her." Alfred's voice is a little echoy and a lot loud and Lovino has a hard time believing Francine can't hear every word he's saying (especially considering how damn nosy she is to begin with).

"Then go sleep with her. Or don't. I really don't give a shit."

"That's what I need you for!"

Lovino elbows Antonia in the side when she starts laughing and heaves a sigh. "Why the fuck would you need me for… whatever the hell you two are doing?!"

Alfred laughs too and Lovino groans. "No no no, not like that. Just. You've known her longer. Think the hero should charge on in there? Would she like that?"

No amount of elbowing can control Antonia's giggles and Lovino just gives up even trying. "I am not. I don't. What the fuck is even _wrong_ with you."

"Hey man, just trying to get some advice from my best bro! Wanted to return the favour after—"

"We don't talk about that."

"After what?" Antonia asks, leaning in closer now that Alfred is no longer shouting.

"Nothing," Lovino hisses. "After nothing. Alfred you are drunk. Go do whatever the hell you want. Francine'll just laugh at you if you fuck if up and then you'll know better next time. Just stop bugging me and go get laid."

"Knew I could count on you for a pep talk." Lovino can almost see Alfred saluting him through the phone. He can most definitely hear it when Alfred's phone thumps against what is no doubt his forehead.

The last thing he hears before Alfred suddenly hangs up is, "And what a great pep talk it was."

The voice is not Alfred's, in any way, shape, or form.

"She was totally listening the whole time," he mumbles.

"Mm. You two done with your girl talk?"

"It's not girl talk, Antonia," he replies, tossing his phone onto the nightstand. "And I'm punching him in the face next time I see him. What kind of douche calls somebody at this hour?"

"Didn't you disappear into the bathroom for awhile the first time we had sex?" Antonia asks. "Were you—"

"No." Lovino rolls over and shoves a pillow over his face.

"You so were."

"I'm sleeping."

"You still were, Sleeping Lovi."

" ."

"Okay, okay! At least he didn't call again while we were—"

"Goodnight, Antonia."

Half an hour later, just as Lovino is finally getting Antonia to shut the hell up and let him go to sleep for real, his phone buzzes once again, this time with a text.

_didnt fuck it up man! u nd mor faith n me :p_

He doesn't even bother to respond.

Until after Antonia has fallen asleep. Because she won't stop teasing him.

_As if. go the fuck to sleep. _

_rite. nite, best bro o mine._

_Night, asshole._


	5. Snowflake

Pairing/Characters: Belgium, Netherlands, Spain, Romano  
Rating: K+  
Note: Now for something completely different

* * *

Belgium hid behind one of the tall trees of Spain's orchard, one mitten-clad hand wrapped around a large, well-packed snowball, the other carrying a water gun.

The water gun was probably a bit odd, and would have gotten more than a few stares if anybody else could actually see into the long field of trees, but Romano had started it and that was always a good excuse for anything and everything.

She heard the crack of a twig behind her and spun around, just in time to hear the splatter of ice cold water on skin and a laughter-filled, "Shit, that's cold!"

She tip-toed along behind her shield of trees, Spain and Romano's voices getting fainter and fainter as she did so. They were easy enough to keep track of, with Spain's echoing laugh and Romano's indignant cries every time Spain hit him with a well-aimed snowball.

Her brother, however, was proving to be much harder to sneak up on, since she hadn't seen him since Romano had thrown water guns at them all and bolted off into the orchard.

"Are you three done yet?"

Belgium almost jumped at the voice, but quickly got her wits about her and started shooting, not even noticing that Netherlands was carrying a tray of hot cocoa and not his water gun.

"…I'll take that as a no."

"Oh, sorry, Neth—" Belgium was cut off by a stream of water right to the face. She gasped at how insanely cold it was and blinked at Netherlands, who hid the water gun back under his coat and walked off in the direction they both knew Spain and Romano were in.


	6. XOXOXO

Pairing/Characters: Fem!Romano and Fem!Veneziano, mentions of Fem!Spamano and Fem!GerIta  
Rating: K+  
Note: This is for the alphabet meme I've been doing. Ah shit last day of the year man. It's been a pretty excellent one! Thanks so much to everyone who has read my stuff this year you all are great :)

* * *

Romano was sitting in a meeting with her sister, their boss, and a few other politicians and people of importance (Romano hadn't actually been paying attention to who all was there). She was attempting to take at least half-decent notes, since Veneziano clearly was not, but she couldn't help but to zone out. Spain had kept her up all night, distracting jerk that she was, and she'd long since given up trying to conceal the yawns that just wouldn't stop. The woman across from her gave her a disapproving look, but she quickly looked away when Romano gave her a dirty look in return. The effect was ruined by yet another yawn, but it was still enough to dispel any other obvious glances in her direction. She'd had centuries to perfect her scowls, after all.

Somebody nudges at her side and she was about to tell whoever it was to fuck right off, until she realised it was just Veneziano. She pinched her arm instead.

Veneziano pouted and slipped a sloppily folded piece of paper over to Romano, who opened it, not even trying to conceal it, like Veneziano had.

_Long night with Big Sister Spain?_

Just like she could do nothing about yawning, Romano couldn't stop the warmth she felt flooding her cheeks. Fucking hell.

_No, you moron. What kind of weird question is that?_

She carelessly crumpled the note and tossed it into her sister's lap. She didn't expect a response, but a few minutes later the piece of paper, now folded neatly despite all the crinkles in it, was back in front of her.

_It's not a stupid question! You two must have a lot of catching up to do since she's here visiting. I could hear you up talking all night long._

_I don't believe you_ was Romano's hasty response. The note passing had to cease for a few moments when their boss asked Romano a question, but once everyone's attention was back on someone else, Romano noticed the paper was once again in her possession.

_It's true. I couldn't hear everything you were saying and I fell asleep after awhile, but you sure seemed to agree with whatever it was Spain was telling you._

After reading the most recent note, Romano slowly looked over at the perverted devil that was her sister. She smiled innocently back at her, but Romano knew not to trust that. She did not trust it at all.

_You and Spain can both go fuck yourselves._

_Not what you were saying last night, Sorella._

_Leave me alone. I'm trying to take notes here, unlike you._

Romano knew Veneziano wouldn't listen to her, and sure enough she started writing away on the note as soon as Romano passed it back to her.

_Don't worry. I'm going to Germany's after the meeting, you'll be all alone with Spain xoxo_

_Because I totally want you being along with that bitch. Don't give me your damn xoxo shit._

_XOXOXOXOXO_

Veneziano. Stop.

**_XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO_**

Veneziano had filled up the rest of the sheet of paper with her Xs and Os, so Romano had no room to write a response. She probably wouldn't have continued the written conversation even if she could, though. The old clock in the room chimed five times, signalling the end of the meeting, and it wouldn't have made sense to keep writing notes when it was time to leave. Romano tore the note up, sprinkling it over Veneziano's head (as revenge, obviously, though Veneziano clearly didn't realise that since she just laughed and sprinkled some back on Romano).

"I'm making your favourite pasta for dinner," she muttered as she gathered up her things. "And you won't be there so you can't have any. I'm not saving any either."

"I'll live." Veneziano gave her another annoying smile and kissed her cheek. "Have fun with Spain!" she called as she left the meeting room. "Don't wait up for me!"

"Didn't plan on it." She didn't so much as spare a glance at anyone else as she left as well. She did, however, make a mental note to sit next to somebody else at the next meeting if Spain was still around.


End file.
